


I Need You So Much

by Miss_Nightmare



Category: Bring Me The Horizon, Sleeping With Sirens
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2014-12-02
Packaged: 2018-02-27 22:19:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2708759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Nightmare/pseuds/Miss_Nightmare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kellin lies to Oli about quitting; and Oli is fed up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need You So Much

I woke up due to thunder shaking the house. Soon after I shot up, the whole bedroom lit up and the realization that he still wasn't there hit me full force - like a wave unexpectedly crashing in my face. I felt on his side of the bed until I found his pillow. I pulled it close to my chest and held it tight - I missed him. And I was so, so sorry.

\-------

"You're a cunt, Kellin!" Oli screamed, throwing his glass across the room. My hands were shaking violently, and I was about to start crying. He didn't have to get so angry. "You fucking lied to me! You said you quit! You said you were done, Kellin!" 

"It is so hard, Oliver!" I screamed through tears that had started falling. "I'm sorry! I swear that I am trying my best!"

"Well, try harder!" He spat, picking his phone up off the table and shoving it in his pocket. I watched as he paced across the room, wondering what he was going to break next. He shook his head before heading for our front door.

"Oli, wait!" I pleaded, getting out of my chair and stumbling towards the door.

\--------  
Clap!

The thunder shook me out of my thoughts. I realized I was now crying; Oli's pillow was soaked. I flipped it over and used it instead of my own pillow to lay on. I laid my head down and started crying harder because I could smell him. His shampoo, his sweat, his everything. I needed him. But more than I ever needed the stupid drugs. 

Why did I ever need the drugs when I had him? I turned over to face the window and watch the rain pour down.

\-------

He slipped out of the door and shut it on my face. I stood there stunned for a moment before opening the door and running after him. He was almost in his car once I reached him. I yanked his arm and turned him around so he was facing me. I then leaned in for a kiss, but he pushed me away.

"Don't touch me, Kellin," he said, unlocking his car and sliding in, out of my sight. I watched as he pulled away. The tail lights faded slowly into the night. I sat down on the cold, wet grass and screamed - I couldn't lose him.

\---------

It was still raining when I woke up again. I looked at the clock hanging on the far wall to see what time it was - 8:45 AM. It was a Sunday, so I didn't have to go to class today. Even if it was a weekday, I don't think I could've gone. The pain of him being gone was killing me. 

It took all that I had not to turn to the stupid drugs. I didn't, however, because they were the reason he was gone. Instead of destroying myself even further, I got up and made some coffee. I thought about Oli as I made it - he liked the smell of coffee. He liked to smell the grains as I scooped them out into the coffee maker and it always made me laugh. He liked his coffee with two sugars. And he always took it in the mug I bought him for his twenty-sixth birthday.

I made my cup and sat down on the couch. I stared out the large window on the back of our house for what seemed like hours - I was slowly dying without him. The absence of him was almost as bad for me as the drugs. If only he had known - if only he had known him leaving would kill me slowly. Then just maybe he would come back.

\-------------

I fell asleep on the couch, but woke up in our bed. I turned my head to where Oli slept, and I saw him. He was turned over, watching me.

"Hi, Kellin," he said, reaching up to cradle my face. I knew I had to be dreaming. I pinched my side to see if I was - nothing happened. His beautiful face was still there, smiling. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you, Sweetie. I was - wrong. I couldn't live without you. I needed to come back."

"I need you so much, Oli," I said before kissing him. I didn't want to let him go. I could still hear the rain pouring outside. It made the perfect soundtrack to our kissing, and I felt like I was in a movie. And what I said was true, and would always be. I needed him so much.


End file.
